Wednesday, September 1, 2010

patintero...taympers...hope...

last night i went to robinsons place, ermita just to wander around...i walked aimlessly...it was probably the first time i went to a mall without real purpose...i walked without knowing where i was going...i looked at shops without really seeing...i bumped a few guys along the way...they were probably wandering inside the mall just like what i was doing...it was tiring but i felt good...at peace...did i get anything from it?...except perhaps for a couple of calories off i got nothing from it really...but then again i felt at peace...it was like having my 'taympers'...remember that time when we were kids playing patintero?...we used to say 'taympers' if we want to rest...if we feel tired...if we feel some pain...or we just feel like stopping for no reason...i had my 'taympers' last night and it felt great...but just like any game of patintero the 'taympers' has to end...it was i think 9 already and the mall is already closing...i has no choice but to go out...but i didn't want to go home just yet...so i walked...and i walked...and i walked...while walking i thought, once the 'taympers' in patintero ends, the games begin again...but in patintero, if failed to make a goal in your firsts attempt you are g iven another chance after the team has tried their luck...if you fail again you just have to wait a while and you'll get yet another chance...is it the same thing in life?...do we get the same privilege of getting several chances...yes, i think we do...but the game of patintero is not a never-ending game...it ends when somebody says he's out already because he is tired...it ends when it gets dark...it ends when our parents calls us to go home...does this mean our second chances in life end also?...perhaps it does when we get too tired and we say we no longer want to go on...or when everything gets dark we could no longer see anything even hope...or when our maker calls us home...was that 'taympers' my last timeout...after it has ended and the game begins, will i be able to get a chance to reach that goal again...or is it already 'time's up'...

when i got home i went directly to my room and lied down on my bed...i closed my eyes hoping i would be pricked by a needle that will put me to sleep much like what happened to 'sleeping beauty'...i was hoping i will only be awakened by a kiss of blessings...i was hoping to wake up to a brand new day full of hope...not a day when all hope is gone...then i was awake again...the room still looked the same...the pile of laundry at the foot of my bed still looked the same...the table with my grooming stuff still looked untouched...the faucet in bathroom still gives the same dripping sound...the tricycle drivers outside our house are still the same bunch of guys i saw yesterday...the security guard at work still wears the same old uniform...did anything change?...not a single bit...oh there is one change...the calendar says it's no longer august...it's already the start of the highly anticipated ber months...but even that could not hide the fact that nothing changed...the same life...the same life...


when i opened my facebook the first thing i saw was this line from a 'friend' whose profile name is 'the bible'...

Freedom following pain

The resurrection came after the crucifixion, this is God's pattern throughout the Bible: freedom following pain. In times of pain know that God seeks freedom for you, release, healing and great joy!  As Isaiah 40:31 states:

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. 

i said 'i believe'...yes, freedom does follow pain...but what if i already chose to alleviate pain already by being at peace while wandering about...did i already lose that freedom i am supposed to get?...
then this line from the same 'friend' again...

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing (through the experience of your faith) that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope. (Romans 15:13)
hope...if it's the goal in patintero, how long do i need to reach it...how many 'taympers' will i need...will i last long enough to cross the last line...will the whole game last till i finally cross that last line...hope...

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