on my way to the office i saw a huge fenced vacant lot that....there was a 'no trespassing' sign hanging on the makeshift gate......what is trespassing?.....i learned from my grade school language that to trespass means to enter a property without the owner's consent......hmmmm.....sounds simple, right?......to enter a property uninvited.....would you say a party gatecrasher is trespassing?....would you call a person who is violating your privacy a trespasser?.....would you call stepping over somebody else's responsibilities trespassing?....i wonder....
wait......
i just checked.....wiki says 'trespass' is divided into three groups....trespass to the person, trespass to chattels and trespass to land.....okay......so there.....i didn't read the entire wiki output because it was too long it would take me days to finish....fine, fine.....i'm exaggerating......
so why am i so concerned with trespassing.......actually i'm not.......i'm just a little concerned.....why?....well i just learned that a friend is feeling bad lately because somebody is 'stealing' his responsibilities at work....a colleague of his is doing the things he is supposed to do.....that guy must be trying to earn some brownie points from the higher ups......bad.......bad.......am i being judgmental?....i am?.....okay, fine, maybe that guy just wants to help.......hmmmmm..........hmmmm......but i still think that is bad......if that guy has pure intentions then he should have asked my friend first if he wants some help......tsk...tsk.....
trespassing?......i say yes......
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
insecurity...
why are you so insecure?
you graduated from a good school?
you have a good job?
you have had your share of promotions?
you have money?
these are things that should give you some amount of confidence. these things should assure you that you can do it. these things should assure you that you are good such that you don't have to always compete with others just to prove yourself.
.....
in my opinion insecurity develops as we grow up...
examples:
1. family of girl is not rich...she does not get to buy nice clothes and shoes like her other classmates...when she grows up and starts earning money, she buys signature clothes...seems okay, right?...the problem is she does not just wear those nice clothes to look good bu to look better than her colleagues or friends...she may or may not be intentionally doing it but she is competing with them...
2. a boy gets good grades...he becomes part of the honors list but never makes it to the top...he knows he is doing his best so he feels bad because his efforts never seem enough to make it to number 1...at first he either feels he is doing something wrong or there is something he is still not doing but should be doing...nothing wrong with that...but he cant find that something...this leads him to resent the others who seem to have discovered that something that he still fails to unearth...as he grows and enter college problem becomes bigger because he fails to get in to the school that he thinks is where all the bright ones study...this makes his hatred towards those who are better than him more pronounced...he always competes with them...he likes to look at the things that they do so that when they commit mistakes he can have something to use against them...
3. a girl grows up with an older sister and a younger brother...dad likes her older sister very much...mom likes the youngest so much...she feels sad because she does not get the same attention as her other siblings...she tries her best to get noticed but to no avail....she feels depressed....then she because envious of the two...she tries her best to compete with them...then she grows up and enter into a relationship...she always feel her boyfriend is fooling around...she gets jealous all the time....
.......
these are issues that should be handled by parents early on...parents sensitive to the needs of their children will notice these signs....they make ways to address them...they give them assurances so they will feel assured...complete...confident...when these issues are not addressed early they become bigger...and the feeling of insecurity could he really consume ones whole being and this could lead him to do really bad things...
examples of possible consequences
1. could lead to stealing to money just so he or she could buy nice things
2. could lead to entering jobs like drug dealing or prostitution just to have money
3. inventing stories about others to put them down
4. cheating in exams
5. having several boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time to feel loved
6. entering into adulterous relationships
7. ....murder
again, to prevent these things from happening, kids should be given enough love by their parents...parents are responsible for making the children secured in all aspects of their lives....
you graduated from a good school?
you have a good job?
you have had your share of promotions?
you have money?
these are things that should give you some amount of confidence. these things should assure you that you can do it. these things should assure you that you are good such that you don't have to always compete with others just to prove yourself.
.....
in my opinion insecurity develops as we grow up...
examples:
1. family of girl is not rich...she does not get to buy nice clothes and shoes like her other classmates...when she grows up and starts earning money, she buys signature clothes...seems okay, right?...the problem is she does not just wear those nice clothes to look good bu to look better than her colleagues or friends...she may or may not be intentionally doing it but she is competing with them...
2. a boy gets good grades...he becomes part of the honors list but never makes it to the top...he knows he is doing his best so he feels bad because his efforts never seem enough to make it to number 1...at first he either feels he is doing something wrong or there is something he is still not doing but should be doing...nothing wrong with that...but he cant find that something...this leads him to resent the others who seem to have discovered that something that he still fails to unearth...as he grows and enter college problem becomes bigger because he fails to get in to the school that he thinks is where all the bright ones study...this makes his hatred towards those who are better than him more pronounced...he always competes with them...he likes to look at the things that they do so that when they commit mistakes he can have something to use against them...
3. a girl grows up with an older sister and a younger brother...dad likes her older sister very much...mom likes the youngest so much...she feels sad because she does not get the same attention as her other siblings...she tries her best to get noticed but to no avail....she feels depressed....then she because envious of the two...she tries her best to compete with them...then she grows up and enter into a relationship...she always feel her boyfriend is fooling around...she gets jealous all the time....
.......
these are issues that should be handled by parents early on...parents sensitive to the needs of their children will notice these signs....they make ways to address them...they give them assurances so they will feel assured...complete...confident...when these issues are not addressed early they become bigger...and the feeling of insecurity could he really consume ones whole being and this could lead him to do really bad things...
examples of possible consequences
1. could lead to stealing to money just so he or she could buy nice things
2. could lead to entering jobs like drug dealing or prostitution just to have money
3. inventing stories about others to put them down
4. cheating in exams
5. having several boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time to feel loved
6. entering into adulterous relationships
7. ....murder
again, to prevent these things from happening, kids should be given enough love by their parents...parents are responsible for making the children secured in all aspects of their lives....
Friday, October 29, 2010
just give it a try
had a nice conversation with a cousin a few nights ago...we talked about a lot of things...mostly about plans for the future...the conversation actually centered on taking bold steps...about doing the things you've dreamt of doing...i kind of envy her for being brave enough to abandon her regular job to try out something that she really wants...she's an account...after a few years of practicing that profession she decided to do something new...she became an artist...i think she became part of an advertising agency...then she decided to leave that job to yet again fulfill another dream...that is to become a farmer...seldom will you hear someone abandon a white collar job to become a farmer...well, she does not really do what a typical farmer does...i mean i don't think she plows the field with the help of a carabao...she has a farm where she plants tomatoes, herbs, etc...she has a helper of course...but whatever it is, i admire her for taking that risk of leaving a regular job to do farming where the future isn't really clear...for me, at least...now she has harvested tomatoes and other vegetables...and i can see she is having fun...i admire her because i've had other plans in the past that i have totally abandoned for fear that i will not succeed...i'm not really sure if i can still do those things now not because i feel too old for them but because i need my regular job because i need a steady income to provide for my father's needs...however, my cousin still believes that i should give a few of those dreams a try...she's not encouraging me to leave my job but instead she is telling me to at least try my other plans even on a part time basis...i think i can do that...or i can give some of them a try...i just need to have that courage to take the first step...oh, and i also need to remove that fear of failing...you see i've been quite successful in many of the things i've done so failing is something i'm really anxious about...but like what she said i should try...how will i know if i'm going to succeed if i do not try, right?...so...what's the first thing that i'll try to do...i don't want to say it just yet but i've already found a way to start...i saw a seminar/training that i can take to see if i will be able to do it...basta....bahala na si batman...
Thursday, October 7, 2010
tale of three fathers
while on the bus on my way to the province, i overheard this family talking....
mommy: daddy what did the doctor say about "boyet" (i can't remember the young boy's name)
daddy: he said it's just ordinary cough
mommy: what medicine did he give
daddy: i forgot and i lost the doctor's prescription
turning towards a girl who is probably just 12 years old
daddy: "girlet"(i can't rememebr the young girl's name), what's the name of the medicine?
girlet: its ________
daddy: oh yeah that's right
wow! the father forgot the name of his son's medicines...tsk...tsk...and he lost the prescription...
after the family got off the bus another family sat behind me....a dad, a son and a daughter...
daddy: (talking to boyie) what do you want to buy in SM...
boyie: (whispering) lunch box
daddy: where is your lunch box?
girlie: he broke it
boyie: but not on purpose
daddy: so what do you bring to school?
boyie: i just buy food at the canteen
daddy: how much is your allowance?
girlie: we bring 70 each
daddy: your mom didn't tell me about that lunch box went we talked...i should have sent money so you could buy one...don't worry...we'll buy a new lunch box...then we'll eat at jollibee....then we'll watch legend of the guardians....then we'll play at the timezone.....
it appears to me that the father does not live with the kids....either he works in another place or he is separated from his wife already.....
on my way back to manila i witnessed yet another story about a father and his kids....
i was seated on the third row....i could hear loud cries from outside the bus...a young boy was wailing.....loud.....very loud.....then after a couple of minutes a mother got on the bus...she was pulling a young boy...he is probably just 6 years old....the boy was trying hard to get away from the mother.....
mommy: stop crying....sit down....
boy: (cry)...(cry)...i want to stay with daddy....
mommy: stop it....we need to go....
then the dad got on the bus as well with another boy who is probably around 10
boyong: daddy i want to stay with you and kuya (big brother)
daddy: "boyong" you cannot stay here...you have to go to school....
boyong: but why can kuya stay with you and i cannot...
daddy: sit down....stop crying.....don't worry you'll come here again next month...
the father kissed the mom and the boy goodbye and left with the kuya.....i saw he was teary-eyed....
three dads....different stories....
first dad.....probably lives with his kids.....they stay together in one house......forgets about his meds....seems to be taking things for granted....
second dad.....obviously trying to make up for lost time......trying to connect with his kids....trying to build a relationship
third dad......heart broken.....torn between letting his son go or allowing him to stay....
three dads....three different stories.....
mommy: daddy what did the doctor say about "boyet" (i can't remember the young boy's name)
daddy: he said it's just ordinary cough
mommy: what medicine did he give
daddy: i forgot and i lost the doctor's prescription
turning towards a girl who is probably just 12 years old
daddy: "girlet"(i can't rememebr the young girl's name), what's the name of the medicine?
girlet: its ________
daddy: oh yeah that's right
wow! the father forgot the name of his son's medicines...tsk...tsk...and he lost the prescription...
after the family got off the bus another family sat behind me....a dad, a son and a daughter...
daddy: (talking to boyie) what do you want to buy in SM...
boyie: (whispering) lunch box
daddy: where is your lunch box?
girlie: he broke it
boyie: but not on purpose
daddy: so what do you bring to school?
boyie: i just buy food at the canteen
daddy: how much is your allowance?
girlie: we bring 70 each
daddy: your mom didn't tell me about that lunch box went we talked...i should have sent money so you could buy one...don't worry...we'll buy a new lunch box...then we'll eat at jollibee....then we'll watch legend of the guardians....then we'll play at the timezone.....
it appears to me that the father does not live with the kids....either he works in another place or he is separated from his wife already.....
on my way back to manila i witnessed yet another story about a father and his kids....
i was seated on the third row....i could hear loud cries from outside the bus...a young boy was wailing.....loud.....very loud.....then after a couple of minutes a mother got on the bus...she was pulling a young boy...he is probably just 6 years old....the boy was trying hard to get away from the mother.....
mommy: stop crying....sit down....
boy: (cry)...(cry)...i want to stay with daddy....
mommy: stop it....we need to go....
then the dad got on the bus as well with another boy who is probably around 10
boyong: daddy i want to stay with you and kuya (big brother)
daddy: "boyong" you cannot stay here...you have to go to school....
boyong: but why can kuya stay with you and i cannot...
daddy: sit down....stop crying.....don't worry you'll come here again next month...
the father kissed the mom and the boy goodbye and left with the kuya.....i saw he was teary-eyed....
three dads....different stories....
first dad.....probably lives with his kids.....they stay together in one house......forgets about his meds....seems to be taking things for granted....
second dad.....obviously trying to make up for lost time......trying to connect with his kids....trying to build a relationship
third dad......heart broken.....torn between letting his son go or allowing him to stay....
three dads....three different stories.....
Monday, September 27, 2010
CEBU....senor sto. nino....a childhood dream fulfilled
every time people would ask me what place outside of luzon i would like to visit i would always say CEBU....that was when i was in grade school....i think that lasted up to high school....i had that idea after my father went to cebu on a business trip...he came home with several sto. nino images....he brought home a lot of small ones....they were no more that 4 inches tall....most of them my mother gave to their friends....one image which was about 9 inches tall was kept in our house...that one was supposed to be for me....i loved that image....it was a black sto. nino....i felt it was unique because of its color...i didn't know that that was how sto nino de cebu was supposed to look like.....
i would always ask my parents to bring me to cebu one day so i could go to the place where the BIG sto. nino can be found...but we never got that chance as a family to go there....
when i studied in manila i learned that there are beautiful places other cebu.....i met friends from iligan, davao, cotabato, etc....and then i also learned about boracay.....cebu was pushed far back i almost forgot it existed...the first chance i got to fly outside of luzon i didn't go to that place i've always dreamt of...instead, i visited boracay.....i loved the place so i would always say that that's the place i would love to visit over and over...but i would also say i like to go to other places as well like palawan, davao, cagayan de oro, etc....cebu was not part of my plans anymore because i found out from friends that it looks just like metro manila....
and then an opportunity to go to cebu came...i was excited....well, i was excited just to be able to travel again and not really to see the place...so i booked our flight and reserved a room in a pension house....
when i arrived in cebu i was surprised that i felt really happy....i felt like i have a connection with the place....i didn't feel this throughout the entire preparation period.....i just felt when i arrived that i like cebu....the cebuanos are very kind...all the people we've encountered were great....all the people we've asked for help were kind enough to help us.....the taxi drivers didn't take advantage of our being new in the place....the security guards were approachable...they gladly helped us with directions.....one security guard was even gracious enough to take my picture when i was struggling to take a picture of myself with the fountain as a background using my cellphone....
the place really looked like manila as i was told....there's traffic....long line at the taxi bays.....most of the shops are the same as those that you'd see here....but i didn't mind....in my 5 days stays i visited ayala center 4 times and sm cebu once....
but the best part of my stay in cebu was my trip to the BASILLICA DEL STO. NINO....the first thing i did when i saw the image was to take pictures...the 'tourist' in me said take lots of pictures of sto. nino....
i also took pictures of me with the image in the background.....there were a lot of people just looking at the image which was placed high up on one side of the big quadrangle....most of the people were praying...i think....some were singing along with the music playing in the background....after taking a few shots i entered the church....
that's when i felt the same feeling i must have felt when i got hold of the sto. nino my father brought home more than a couple of decades ago....i closed my eyes and started to thank Him for bring me to the place that i used to love as a kid.....i thanked Him for allowing me to finally see the church where i know my father prayed for blessings for our family....we didn't stay long but i know in the short time i was there i was able to express my gratitude for just being there....i also prayed for my father particularly about his health.....i felt like it was my time to ask for blessings for our family....my father's prayers were generously answered then....i know my prayers now will also be answered generously....or perhaps even more......
i saw a stairs leading to the image of senor sto. nino.....i think people go up there to 'touch' the image and pray.....it was already night time when we went there....nobody was going up anymore(that is if people really go up there)....i thought that going up there would have been a nice experience but it was okay.....i felt that just being there in the quadrangle was more than enough.....it was more than enough to fulfill a childhood dream.....it was more than enough to say my thanksgiving....it was more than enough to pray for my requests...it was more than enough to feel confident my prayers were heard and will be answered....
i would always ask my parents to bring me to cebu one day so i could go to the place where the BIG sto. nino can be found...but we never got that chance as a family to go there....
when i studied in manila i learned that there are beautiful places other cebu.....i met friends from iligan, davao, cotabato, etc....and then i also learned about boracay.....cebu was pushed far back i almost forgot it existed...the first chance i got to fly outside of luzon i didn't go to that place i've always dreamt of...instead, i visited boracay.....i loved the place so i would always say that that's the place i would love to visit over and over...but i would also say i like to go to other places as well like palawan, davao, cagayan de oro, etc....cebu was not part of my plans anymore because i found out from friends that it looks just like metro manila....
and then an opportunity to go to cebu came...i was excited....well, i was excited just to be able to travel again and not really to see the place...so i booked our flight and reserved a room in a pension house....
when i arrived in cebu i was surprised that i felt really happy....i felt like i have a connection with the place....i didn't feel this throughout the entire preparation period.....i just felt when i arrived that i like cebu....the cebuanos are very kind...all the people we've encountered were great....all the people we've asked for help were kind enough to help us.....the taxi drivers didn't take advantage of our being new in the place....the security guards were approachable...they gladly helped us with directions.....one security guard was even gracious enough to take my picture when i was struggling to take a picture of myself with the fountain as a background using my cellphone....
 |
| this is the fountain and the security guard you can see at the back was the one who took my picture (which i will not show) |
the place really looked like manila as i was told....there's traffic....long line at the taxi bays.....most of the shops are the same as those that you'd see here....but i didn't mind....in my 5 days stays i visited ayala center 4 times and sm cebu once....
 |
| view from the second floor of the ayala center...stage was set because ogie alcasid will be performing that night |
 |
| there's the newly opened redbox at the back.... |
 |
| then there's starbucks |
 |
| the long line of taxi... |
but the best part of my stay in cebu was my trip to the BASILLICA DEL STO. NINO....the first thing i did when i saw the image was to take pictures...the 'tourist' in me said take lots of pictures of sto. nino....
i also took pictures of me with the image in the background.....there were a lot of people just looking at the image which was placed high up on one side of the big quadrangle....most of the people were praying...i think....some were singing along with the music playing in the background....after taking a few shots i entered the church....
that's when i felt the same feeling i must have felt when i got hold of the sto. nino my father brought home more than a couple of decades ago....i closed my eyes and started to thank Him for bring me to the place that i used to love as a kid.....i thanked Him for allowing me to finally see the church where i know my father prayed for blessings for our family....we didn't stay long but i know in the short time i was there i was able to express my gratitude for just being there....i also prayed for my father particularly about his health.....i felt like it was my time to ask for blessings for our family....my father's prayers were generously answered then....i know my prayers now will also be answered generously....or perhaps even more......
i saw a stairs leading to the image of senor sto. nino.....i think people go up there to 'touch' the image and pray.....it was already night time when we went there....nobody was going up anymore(that is if people really go up there)....i thought that going up there would have been a nice experience but it was okay.....i felt that just being there in the quadrangle was more than enough.....it was more than enough to fulfill a childhood dream.....it was more than enough to say my thanksgiving....it was more than enough to pray for my requests...it was more than enough to feel confident my prayers were heard and will be answered....
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
patintero...taympers...hope...
last night i went to robinsons place, ermita just to wander around...i walked aimlessly...it was probably the first time i went to a mall without real purpose...i walked without knowing where i was going...i looked at shops without really seeing...i bumped a few guys along the way...they were probably wandering inside the mall just like what i was doing...it was tiring but i felt good...at peace...did i get anything from it?...except perhaps for a couple of calories off i got nothing from it really...but then again i felt at peace...it was like having my 'taympers'...remember that time when we were kids playing patintero?...we used to say 'taympers' if we want to rest...if we feel tired...if we feel some pain...or we just feel like stopping for no reason...i had my 'taympers' last night and it felt great...but just like any game of patintero the 'taympers' has to end...it was i think 9 already and the mall is already closing...i has no choice but to go out...but i didn't want to go home just yet...so i walked...and i walked...and i walked...while walking i thought, once the 'taympers' in patintero ends, the games begin again...but in patintero, if failed to make a goal in your firsts attempt you are g iven another chance after the team has tried their luck...if you fail again you just have to wait a while and you'll get yet another chance...is it the same thing in life?...do we get the same privilege of getting several chances...yes, i think we do...but the game of patintero is not a never-ending game...it ends when somebody says he's out already because he is tired...it ends when it gets dark...it ends when our parents calls us to go home...does this mean our second chances in life end also?...perhaps it does when we get too tired and we say we no longer want to go on...or when everything gets dark we could no longer see anything even hope...or when our maker calls us home...was that 'taympers' my last timeout...after it has ended and the game begins, will i be able to get a chance to reach that goal again...or is it already 'time's up'...
when i got home i went directly to my room and lied down on my bed...i closed my eyes hoping i would be pricked by a needle that will put me to sleep much like what happened to 'sleeping beauty'...i was hoping i will only be awakened by a kiss of blessings...i was hoping to wake up to a brand new day full of hope...not a day when all hope is gone...then i was awake again...the room still looked the same...the pile of laundry at the foot of my bed still looked the same...the table with my grooming stuff still looked untouched...the faucet in bathroom still gives the same dripping sound...the tricycle drivers outside our house are still the same bunch of guys i saw yesterday...the security guard at work still wears the same old uniform...did anything change?...not a single bit...oh there is one change...the calendar says it's no longer august...it's already the start of the highly anticipated ber months...but even that could not hide the fact that nothing changed...the same life...the same life...
when i opened my facebook the first thing i saw was this line from a 'friend' whose profile name is 'the bible'...
Freedom following pain
The resurrection came after the crucifixion, this is God's pattern throughout the Bible: freedom following pain. In times of pain know that God seeks freedom for you, release, healing and great joy! As Isaiah 40:31 states:
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
i said 'i believe'...yes, freedom does follow pain...but what if i already chose to alleviate pain already by being at peace while wandering about...did i already lose that freedom i am supposed to get?...
then this line from the same 'friend' again...
hope...if it's the goal in patintero, how long do i need to reach it...how many 'taympers' will i need...will i last long enough to cross the last line...will the whole game last till i finally cross that last line...hope...
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