It is hard waking up in the morning with loads on your chest. It is also hard to calm yourself down tat night o take that much needed sleep when your mind is filled with chaotic thoughts. But what's more difficult is carrying all those baggage and still pretending that everything is okay. It's hard to smile at others when you see them pass by. It's hard to laugh with your friends when somebody cracks jokes. It's hard to share in the happiness others are experiencing when you can no longer define what happiness is.
Some might say you need not pretend that everything's fine. Some might say you just need to open up to some friends to at least lighten the load. I say not. There are things that are better kept to yourself. I mean we are not expected to disclose everything even to our closest friend. Sharing to others will not always lighten the load. Doing it might even add more worries. What if your friend fails to understand your concern? What if he makes judgments on you? What if your friend fails to support you? Aren't you going to be disappointed? All those things could just be added load to carry.
So what happens next? Nothing! You just have to continue pretending each day. Hopefully you'll really be able to convince others that you are fine. And hopefully, you will be able to convince YOURSELF that YOU are fine.
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