I Miss You

It’s been a while since we last had a good conversation over BBM. I used to enjoy our exchange of messages. It was always fun chatting with you. If I remember it right, I am always the one who start the conversation but it didn’t matter because you would always respond well. Those were really happy days for me. Until all of a sudden you lost interest in replying.

A couple of weeks ago you seemed uninterested. So I responded according to how I felt was right. I also backed away a little. For a couple of days I didn’t send you messages. Then when I felt or I thought it was the right time I started sending you BBMs again. Unfortunately those attempts were left unanswered. It’s as if I made a call and got “the number you dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area” type of response. I couldn’t understand why a simple hi or hello because so difficult for you to type.

I then gave space for a few days thinking that somehow you’ll miss the exchanges we used to have and respond again. But boy was I terribly wrong. When  I sent you  BBMs again you still didn’t reply.

Then a little birdie told me that you now have a new BB friend. I also learned you send that new friend messages on a regular basis. By regular I mean morning, noon and evening. Is that the reason why you don’t answer me anymore? Wow! How difficult is it to type hi or hello? Oh, please don’t tell me you don’t have time.

Learning that was really painful, you know. It’s as if I suddenly became invisible – or maybe even nonexistent. It was hard when I finally realized that my value to you is so small that you don’t even want to say hi anymore. I mean I would probably understand if the frequency becomes less but to totally remove it altogether is really downright painful if not insulting.

It’s funny that when you started this no-response stance, I found a new friend who would always send text messages. If you think about it, our exchanges are actually better than ours. I mean this friend is the once who initiates the conversation. Never did I start the exchanges. Good morning! O kumain ka na ha. Drink lots of water para hindi manghihina. Rest ka na. Gabi ka na naman uuwi magtaxi ka na. Meme na ko, meme ka na rin – messanges I never got from you. You never did ask me if Im doing okay or not.

This new thing is very much welcome, if you must know. I really appreciate it. It fills the void. But it’s different. It’s nothing similar to what we had. And really, what I have with this new friend does not erase the fact that I miss our exchanges. I miss our conversations. I miss the jokes you give. I miss the pang-aasar. I miss the nonsense stuff we talk about. I miss you. I. MISS. YOU.

I do not want to beg you to do the things you used to do. I do not want to beg you to ‘comeback’ so we could do things we used to enjoy (or was it only I who enjoyed then). I do not want to do these things because it would be meaningless if you were just forced to do it. But heavens I’m hoping you would find it in your heart to miss the things we had and comeback.

Please!

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