It’s been a
while since we last had a good conversation over BBM. I used to enjoy our
exchange of messages. It was always fun chatting with you. If I remember it
right, I am always the one who start the conversation but it didn’t matter
because you would always respond well. Those were really happy days for me.
Until all of a sudden you lost interest in replying.
A couple of
weeks ago you seemed uninterested. So I responded according to how I felt was
right. I also backed away a little. For a couple of days I didn’t send you
messages. Then when I felt or I thought it was the right time I started sending
you BBMs again. Unfortunately those attempts were left unanswered. It’s as if I
made a call and got “the number you dialed is either unattended or out of
coverage area” type of response. I couldn’t understand why a simple hi or hello
because so difficult for you to type.
I then gave
space for a few days thinking that somehow you’ll miss the exchanges we used to
have and respond again. But boy was I terribly wrong. When I sent you BBMs again you still didn’t reply.
Then a little
birdie told me that you now have a new BB friend. I also learned you send that
new friend messages on a regular basis. By regular I mean morning, noon and
evening. Is that the reason why you don’t answer me anymore? Wow! How difficult
is it to type hi or hello? Oh, please don’t tell me you don’t have time.
Learning that
was really painful, you know. It’s as if I suddenly became invisible – or maybe
even nonexistent. It was hard when I finally realized that my value to you is
so small that you don’t even want to say hi anymore. I mean I would probably
understand if the frequency becomes less but to totally remove it altogether is
really downright painful if not insulting.
It’s funny
that when you started this no-response stance, I found a new friend who would
always send text messages. If you think about it, our exchanges are actually better
than ours. I mean this friend is the once who initiates the conversation. Never
did I start the exchanges. Good morning! O kumain ka na ha. Drink lots of water
para hindi manghihina. Rest ka na. Gabi ka na naman uuwi magtaxi ka na. Meme na
ko, meme ka na rin – messanges I never got from you. You never did ask me if Im
doing okay or not.
This new
thing is very much welcome, if you must know. I really appreciate it. It fills
the void. But it’s different. It’s nothing similar to what we had. And really,
what I have with this new friend does not erase the fact that I miss our exchanges.
I miss our conversations. I miss the jokes you give. I miss the pang-aasar. I
miss the nonsense stuff we talk about. I miss you. I. MISS. YOU.
I do not want
to beg you to do the things you used to do. I do not want to beg you to ‘comeback’
so we could do things we used to enjoy (or was it only I who enjoyed then). I
do not want to do these things because it would be meaningless if you were just
forced to do it. But heavens I’m hoping you would find it in your heart to miss
the things we had and comeback.
Please!
